The Running II.

     Day three of staying home with Evy. Day one and two, no problem! She was fussless, she was without fuss. I was a great father! This thing was going to be easy. While I didn't say it, I was confident I had this parenting thing down. Apparently, it takes three days for me to eat my unspoken words. Today, right now, as I'm writing this post, Evy is in the other room, swaddled, fed, clean, coming off a full night's rest (like six full hours!), in her swing, listening to the magic CD that's supposed to make her happier than a pig in poop, and yet she will not...stop...crying! It's driving me nuts! I pick her up, she cries. I put her down, she cries. I bounce her, rock her, shake her (in the good way, not the abusive way), give her a pacifier, give her a bottle, and nothing. Well, nothing but tears and screaming.
     You may be wondering, if my daughter is in the other room crying, why am I in here, blogging? That's a good question and I'm glad you asked. The purpose of blogging at this particular moment is three fold:

1. It's important for me to be honest with what's going on inside my head and my heart, while this is happening.
   
2. I'm killing time until my father gets here so I can go running.
   
3. If I'm in here, I can't be in there, getting frustrated.
   

I'm not sure how much longer I can take this. I'm doing the right thing by calling my dad and waiting on him to give me a break. Don't get me wrong, I would never hurt my child. I'm not worried about that, it's just that I have no idea what to do to make her happy. And I think I may be close to realizing what "impotent rage" really means. My frustration factor is pretty stinking high right now...but there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing more than what I've already tried. Plus, it's not like she started crying and I just said to myself, "Self, let's see how long she can keep this up...it'll be fun!" I really have tried everything, but she's been crying for two straight hours and that's enough to challenge Mother Theresa. My dad's here now, so I'm going to go running. Thank God for grandparents...