The Parasite.

     What are children if nothing more than glorified parasites that eventually learn to sustain themselves after 18 years? Viewing unborn children as a parasite has sort of stuck with me, and not really in a good way. Catie said she was listening to NPR and they were talking about how pregnant women are supposed to be highly susceptible to N1H1 flu because their bodies are already trying to fight off a foreign body. With Catie and I both teaching we get exposed to more runny nosed, sick, sniffling, hacking, coughing, wheezing, nasty, near death, people than nurses on death watch. It's bad. Yet Catie has yet to have a suspicious sneeze, cough, or sniffle. We're pretty sure it's because of the prenatal vitamins she takes, but who knows. Maybe it's because she's so healthy and (use to) exercises a bunch. I'm just glad the baby's going to come out without worrying if the head is going to stay attached. That...that's not a concern. Is it?

The Hooter.

     Hooter Hiders. Not making this stuff up. Don't even think I could.
     Turns out, hooter hiders are miniature privacy screens that allow women to nurse or pump or whatever in the comfort of rush hour traffic. Don't get me wrong, I'm not real big on the idea of every Rando getting to see my wife's sweater bunnies, but I kind of have a feeling this thing would last about three uses and then end up like the Diaper Genie.
     For those of you that don't know, the Diaper Genie is this magical contraption that is supposed to have the power of eliminating gross diaper smell, being more sanitary, and a bunch of other reasons that justify spending around 80 bucks on what is ultimately a trashcan for poop. My sister had one. Loved it. For around fifteen days. Three kids later, she's got a big cardboard box in the corner of the room with piles of diapers just begging for the next trash day.
     If I've heard correctly, babies go through about four changes of clothes per hour. More if it's a day when they're sick, scared, nervous, or happen to be eating. If that's the case, and it seems real possible to me, then how many diapers are we talking about? Ten, twenty, more? How many loads of doody in one week? Tell ya what: anyone out there want to buy me a Diaper Genie, Hooter Hider, or Flibbity Clarkstenfine, go ahead. Because, as near as I can tell, most of these fancy products can be replaced with a folded cardboard box. Would you pay 80 dollars for a cardboard box? If so, I have some fantastic boxes in the garage I'd love to show you; some even have a broken in look!