The Consensus.

     So, one of the easiest ways to decide if you're crazy or not is to see if other people experience reality the same way you do, there's a good chance you're not completely bonkers. As long as everyone else experiences the squares between the squares in the illusion on the left, even though they're not there, it's okay. Now, if you see Jesus in the picture on the left, you may have a problem. Seek help.
     This is a very important thing to remember when you have a kid. If she cries a lot, all the time, and there's nothing you can do about it, you can often feel like a terrible parent. It's an easy assumption to make. She's crying, there's something wrong with her, I can't help her, so I must be a bad parent. But, when a seasoned professional, like grandparents for instance, can't do anything to help either, it's a good thing; in a way. It means it's not just me. If there's a consensus about Evy, that means it's not just me. But it doesn't mean there's nothing we can do. We're taking her to the doctor to have everything checked out, and hopefully we'll be able to give her something that will help. But, if not, we're just going to ride this out until she's over it, and we'll go from there. I just have to keep telling myself it won't last forever... It won't last forever...

The Disconnect.

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     I'm not a computer genius. I think I'm better than most, but there are a lot of people out there better than me, and I'm better than all the people that currently live in my house. This means that when something electronic does goes haywire, it immediately gets passed to me. A friend who's in the same electronic situation I am laughs about this with me. What our wives don't seem to understand is that we don't know right away what's wrong either! We do some poking around, do some research online, take a best guess, try to see if anyone else has had a similar problem, and just keep trying until we find a solution. But the wives, they don't want to know this. I think they truly want to believe I have some magical power over all things computerized. I've talked about this in a little more detail in a previous post. Well, apparently I am to computers as Catie is to Evy.
     There are times when Evy cries, I have no idea what the problem is. She's clean, she's fed, she's the right temperature, but nothing seems to make her happy. At a certain point, I just hand her off to Catie. Nine times out of ten, Evy stops crying, goes all limp and slack-jawed, and then her eyes close. It's like magic! I ask Catie about this, and she says, "Oh, she just wanted to be bounced..." Bounced? That's what she wanted? How in the world did you divine "she just wanted to be bounced" out of that particular cry? It makes no sense to me. Catie and I sit down and start talking about this, because I can't pass Evy off to Catie every time she cries. Partially because it wouldn't be fair, but also because I'm going to stay home with Evy while Catie's at work. So, Catie asks me how I fix problems with computers.
     I tell her there's nothing really to it, I just poke around and see what I can do on my own. If that doesn't work, I look for other people online that may have had similar problems, and try what worked for them. She starts laughing and says, "that's exactly what I do with Evy!" When I think about it, she's right. When Evy was colicky, we tried a bunch of things on our own, none of them worked, so we went out and did some research. We bought a book, tried several new things, and found something that worked. When she cries now, I feel way more empowered. I sort of look at her like a computer, and just try stuff until the disks stop making that noise. And I guess when it comes to parenting I'm a lot like I am with computers: I'm better than a lot of people, but there's a lot of people better than me. Which gives me a little bit of hope. It lets me know I can help a few people out there with their children, and it tells me there's a lot of people out there who can help me. I'm not alone, and neither are you.

The New.

     Happy New Year everyone! For the last few years Catie and I have been in bed when the New Year rolled in. We just slept right through it. This year, that wasn't a problem. Evaline has decided to become colicky. It's not too terrible yet, but it's getting close. For the past four nights she's cried for about four hours straight, completely inconsolable. The new baby smell and charm is tarnishing quickly and my frustration levels are rising just as fast. A friend was over last night and told us it's not really colic until you start wondering how hard you could hit the baby's head against the wall to knock them out without doing any permanent damage. I can say we're not to that point, yet. Still though, most people stay out pretty late on New Year's eve. If you're one of those people, and you don't have kids yet, the way you feel in the morning is how I feel every morning. The only difference being that I don't have any crazy stories or incriminating photos that show up the next morning on Facebook.
     In the mean time my room has been converted into an obstacle course, rife with rockers, swings, blankies, baby shoes, and who knows what else. Trying to walk around in the dark is going to shorten my life considerably. The worst part of the whole thing is there's nothing I can do to make her feel better. It's pretty much the most powerless I've ever felt. Regardless, she's healthy, she's pretty, and this isn't going to last forever. Even if it feels like it.

The Dilatory.

     I'm not saying I'm supremely lazy, but it's close. This morning, as I was walking to my car, I reached my left hand to the handle and with my right hand I clicked the little button on my key that unlocked the door. My left hand was already there. There was no good reason I couldn't have unlocked it with the key. Apparently making a twisty motion with my right hand was just too much to ask at seven a.m. Maybe it's habit, maybe I really am lazy, but either way, there is a certain part of me that just absolutely doesn't want to work any harder than possible. Before you judge, realize you're probably very similar. I mean, how many of you have memorized keyboard shortcuts on your compy just so you don't have to "move the mouse so far..." Or, better yet, gone ahead and created your own custom shortcuts in order "save time"? Save time? Really? We're talking milliseconds here, people. You weren't going to do anything with them anyway.
     I guess a similar thing is happening while preparing for the new baby. Everything I look at is supposed to multitask, or transform into a billion other things. Just the idea of buying a car seat all by itself, that doesn't go with a stroller, and a rocker, and an airbag option seems ludicrous. Maybe I'm just being lazy, but I'd like to think I'm trying to prepare as best as possible as well. That maybe if I have the right stuff now it'll make parenting easier later. But I doubt it. It'll probably come down to Catie and I just trying to not screw it up. I keep reading in my psych courses about how to make a personality disorder. It's pretty easy, just start out with a predisposition and then throw in lousy parenting to trigger the inner coo-coo. And there ya have it; antisocial personality disorder. I doubt having the right car seat or changing table or crib/playpen/whosie-whats-it doesn't create a Ted Bundy. But you never know....

The Schedule.

     Grad school is back in full swing again. Normally this wouldn't be news, and I have tried to make these posts generalized, but this is just too huge. I have my practicum (internship) coming up, after the baby is born. What am I going to do? Practicum's usually don't pay anything, and they usually take about 45 to 50 hours a week. The plan was for me to stay home with the kiddo while Catie works. But now, what are we going to do? Paying someone to watch the baby is out of the question because it's just too expensive. Plus, I'll be done with my practicum by the time she's 1ish, so it's not that long of a time, but I don't think taking an infant with me is an option. How am I going to do this?

The Braxton-Hicks.

     Much like the Rh factor, Braxton Hicks is a good name for a band, but it's also fake contractions that start around the third trimester. I did a little research (this time) before saying Braxton Hicks isn't a band. Turns out, there are actually multiple bands called Braxton Hicks. So, I will make no such claim. Anyway, apparently it feels like the baby is curling up into a ball and doubling their mass. Don't ask me how, it just happens.
     Really, this one scares a lot of people so I wanted to put some information & links on here. Biggest question? How do I know if it's labor or Braxton Hicks? Easiest answer? If a baby comes out, it was real labor. Also, if the contractions get less intense, then it's Braxton Hicks. Probably not blogroll worthy, but important information none the less.

• BabyCenter Nice general stuff with some other links.
  
• American Pregnancy Association Very professional site dedicated to baby stuff.
  
• Kaiser Permanente: Recommended if you're on their insurance...
  

The Meconium.

     Meconium is gross. I'm not even going to try and find a good picture for it. There are only two types of meconium I know of. There are probably other types, but I don't want to know about them because the two types I do know of make me want to throw up.
     The first type is the goo that comes out of an adult butterfly after it emerges from its chrysalus. The other type of meconium is the goo that comes out of a baby's backside. The very first poo your kid has is going to be black, awful, and awful. Just thought you should know.