The Name.

     What's in a name? Apparently everything. If I named my kid Apple, my kid is going to hate me for the rest of their lives. Being that "the rest of their lives" is supposed to outlast the rest of my life, I should put some extra care into their name. I could always go the Angelina Jolie route and pick from Maddox, Pax, Zahara, or Shiloh Nouvel. But that would probably put me back in the whole, "I hate you, I wish I'd never been born" frame of reference with my kid.
     The Native Americans use to give their kids temporary names at birth. Then, when they were old enough, they chose their own name. One that clearly stated who they thought they were. In traditional Chinese culture people will change their names when something truly significant happens in their lives. I like this concept. But I wonder how adjusted I would be if my parents had allowed me to name myself. People would look twice at a resume submitted by Sir He-Man Mega Ultra Optimus Prime Luke Sywalker Croy.
     To me, letting your child pick their own name is like waiting to circumcise a boy until he's old enough to make the decision. By that point, the decision has already been made. I also worked with a guy who thought he was going to have a girl, but turned out the were wrong. Since they had no name, they were tossing ideas around and he asked his five year old what he thought they should name the new baby. His immediate response was: "Muck". They jokingly called the newborn Muck until they settled on a name. If you asked me now I couldn't tell you that kid's real name. I only know him as Muck. Considering he has a five inch Mohawk at the age of 6, it pretty much suits him just fine. But I have to ask myself, what came first; the Mohawk or the name?
     My grandfather gave me a plaque when I was about five. I have no idea where it is anymore, but I still remember what it said: It takes a lifetime to build a name, and only a moment to destroy it. I don't think I fully understood all that when I was five. Besides, who's going to lay that much pressure on a five year old? But names are important. Family names remind us of where we came from and what we're leaving. First names remind everyone else of what we do now. I still don't know if the name informs the child or if the child informs the name, but I do think there's a correlation. Ultimately, our name is what we make of it. I just hope I'm making a good one for my child. One they will wear proudly. One they will proudly pass to their children. But in the mean time, all I have to worry about is finding a name better than Muck.