The Love.

     So Catie and I are sitting around, watching tv, and this commercial comes on. I'm not sure what the commercial is for, but there's a little scene where an elderly woman is feeding her elderly husband. I glance over at Catie and say, "Are you going to take care of me like that when I'm older?" Without taking her eyes off the tv, she responds:
     "I hope I go before you..."
This is just the right type of environment to bring my child into. But in all honesty, I've been told the best thing a man can do for his children is love their mother. There is real truth to this.
     Once, when I was younger, my father spanked me for talking back to my mom. I don't remember what I said to deserve it, but I'm sure I did. Then, he looked at me with genuine confusion and says, "what makes you think I love you any more than I love my wife?" He didn't say "your mother", but "my wife". It was the first time I ever realized my parents had a relationship long before I came along. I never forgot what he said and I'm glad he said it. I hope my wife doesn't just become my children's mother.

The Sex.

     This has nothing to do with what you're thinking it has anything to do with. Unless you're thinking about when to find out the sex of your baby. If that's the case, then I was wrong, you are thinking about the right thing. Should people wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl, or find out in utero?
     I say, find out asap. It's either going to be a surprise on the sonogram, or a surprise in the delivery room. The only other option I know of is waiting until the kid can talk and just asking them. So why not get some time to prepare, paint the nursery the right color, and buy a set of standard or pink Craftsman tools? As a matter of fact, my wife wants to know the sex of the baby at the next OBGYN appointment. It's a month too early, but she's hoping if we squint it will help.
     It is possible that knowing beforehand could demystify the whole birthing experience. But who cares? Pragmatism, not idealism, right? The way I see it, it's mysterious enough the kid's head can become so misshapen it'll fit through a ten centimeter circle. Have you seen a ten centimeter circle?
~ND~

The Gas

     The whole point of this blog is to provide an opportunity for men (or women) to talk about the beautiful and wonderful (read "freaky") changes that happen in women during pregnancy. One of the most fantastic (and freaky) goings on happen within the bowels. Gas O'plenty!
     I know a couple who claims to have never farted in front of each other; even though they've been married for 20+ years. I think I farted on our first date. But now, she has an excuse. Now, progesterone is causing her body to digest her food slower in order to give the baby more time to get nutrients. Other than a handful of things she may do to relieve her gas pains, the only thing we can do is make them feel at ease. The only way I know how to do that is to be the first to fart. Then it's just a matter of keeping the proverbial door open and giving her permission.
~ND~


P.S. By the way, one of the best ways to relieve gas pain is to stick your butt in the air and your head on the ground. Don't take my word for it, give it a shot.

I hate MSNBC

MSNBC is on and they're doing one of their specials you've probably heard of: "To Catch a Predator". It's common knowledge that evil exists, it's everywhere, and no one can protect their children all the time. But this program struck a chord in me. The part that got me was when a 45 year old man rolled up with the standard child molester uniform: unbuttoned sleeveless shirt with condom in front pocket, cowboy hat, and a bevy of Pabst Blue Ribbon*. Then, from off screen and out of view of the "perp", a fourteen year old actress asks if he remembered to bring the condoms and beer.

Shortly after this I turned the tv off, shook my head, looked at my wife, and informed her that we're having a boy.

*To the good people down at Pabst Blue Ribbon. It is NOT your fault that PBR became the offical beer of pervs everywhere. Don't blame yourselves. Blame the pervs. I know I would.

Welcome

    My beautiful, incredible, talented, and (most importantly) forgiving wife is pregnant. While the pregnancy was completely unexpected, I couldn't be happier. There's just one thing, I feel really left out.
     Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing I'm not the one experiencing the morning sickness, sleepless nights, or what must be the bizarre realization that something is growing in my body that isn't the product of a large dinner. She is the most qualified to handle all of those things, both physically and psychologically. But there's a process that going on in her mind, her body, and her hormones that is not only a complete mystery to me, but I'm pretty sure is a mystery to her as well.
     So why write a blog about it? The one thing that bothers me about blogs is they are necessarily egocentric and narcissistic at best. Who am I to assume that anyone in the world wants to know my thoughts on anything?
     Simple. No one else is doing it.
     If you look up "pregnant blog guy" on Google, you'll a bunch of info about the woman who became a man but still had her internal plumbing and is now going to give birth to a baby. Though it may very well fall under the auspices of "pregnant blog guy", it does very little for me. I've purchased books, talked with my wife, read things online, but there aren't many places men can go for support and we tend to be out of our element, uncomfortable, and obtuse until it's time to interrogate the first boyfriend or explain what a knuckle ball is and why it's so hard to hit.

     I'll be interviewing fathers and fathers-to-be and hopefully posts in on this blog may help other men who feel like they need something more than a fake baby belly to feel connected with their wives as pregnancy progresses. Maybe, if we all pull together, we may be able to get through this like our fathers never could.

The Me.

     This is an attempt to help fathers and fathers-to-be through humor and community. No, it's not supposed to rhyme, it just does. I am currently in my masters program for marriage and family therapy. While this doesn't make me an expert on family (if that's even possible), it does give me an interesting window into being a guy and having a kid. There's a lot of things men don't ask, aren't told, and yet should know.
     When we found out we were pregnant, I did what any man would do: got online & looked for help. I found a lot of information about the guy that use to be a woman, then became a man, but still got pregnant. It was either that or just one little section of a larger site. I couldn't find anything that was up to date, informative, and helpful. So, I decided to do it. I'm not an expert, but I am going to interview some experts, link to some helpful sites, and act as a resource.
     Please leave comments on blogs, feel free to ask questions, and I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy creating it.