The Instructions.

     The comment about children not coming with an instruction manual has been said way too many times. I think the phrase has stuck around because it admits that every kid is different, no parent really knows what they're doing until after they've done it, and everyone is pretty much just guessing. There is no such thing as an expert on parenting. There can be good advice, general rules of thumb, or medical recommendations, but past a certain point none of them will work all the time in every situation. There has never been, there will never be, and there currently isn't a family like yours. That being said, there is one thing all children need in order to develop into healthy adults: good relationships with their parents. Without this, everything else pretty much falls apart. If you don't believe me, check out Harlow's monkey's. So what's the best Fatherade? Show up! I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Show Up! That's the first and most important step in being a father.
     One statistic I've heard many times during studying family therapy is that children in an abusive family have a forty percent chance of being abusing their family later. Every time I've read this, it's been stated this way. Why don't they say children in an abusive family have a sixty percent chance of NOT abusing their family later. It's saying the same thing, right? That means more people who come from abused families don't abuse! That means people are not doomed to repeat what their parents taught them. However, it doesn't mean it's going to be easy.
     You want an instruction book for fatherhood? I'll let you have it cheap: FREE. Be there, and don't leave or quit. Everything else can be fixed. We're going to make mistakes, that's a promise. Some will be worse than others, but there is only one mistake that can't be fixed and that's leaving. And there is more than one way to leave a family, the physical act is just the most noticeable. Many fathers are absentee's long before they leave, many times it's not intentional. There are fathers who desperately want to be involved in their families and their children, but they just don't know how. Fatherade will eventually host seminars for fathers who lack some of the skills required to get involved in the lives of their children. Expect a calendar early 2012. If you have any suggestions or requests, please email me.