The Showing.

     Woody Allen said that 80% of success is showing up. There's more to showing up than just being around. There's a physical, mental, and spiritual aspect to showing up, and all three are important. For me, sometimes getting out of bed is the hard part. With Catie being 6 months pregnant, she still pulls more of the load around here than I do. I straight up pulled a Dagwood today. I literally laid on the couch while Catie made dinner. And I don't know if you've ever seen a woman who's six months pregnant try to pick something up, but it's pretty difficult/funny.
     Guys have an obligation to show up physically because, women's lib. movement or not, there are some things that guys are physically better at than women...usually. I'm a lot better at wrestling with my nephews than my wife is. It's because I'm a guy. I'm all for egalitarianism, but there are some predispositions towards one area or another that, either culturally or genetically, men and women tend to lean toward. Another aspect of physical support is sexual (I'll get into that later...was that tongue in cheek?) and monetarily. Now please don't think I'm suggesting men can or should earn more than women. I'm not. What I am suggesting is that two incomes can often be better than one, and that parents supporting each other can make parenting a little bit easier. Not much, but a little.
     The other aspect is mental. I'm not sure when it happened in the course of our marriage, but I started becoming slightly deaf, strictly to the sound of Catie's voice. She'll be looking right at me, I can see her lips moving and I know she's talking to me, but when she's done with the sentence, I got nothing. "What?" has become my motto. It's not that I don't care and (I hope) it isn't that I'm not listening, but there are times (college football season) when it's harder for me to hear what she's saying. For me, that's part of being mentally engaged. When I'm not tuned into her, I miss out on a lot more than I normally would (miss).
     Last, but not least, is being spiritually present. Now I'm not saying I'm the Pope, but there should be an aspect of spirituality in men's lives that seeps into the lives of their families. While I'm Christian, my beliefs don't require everyone else to be that way. But, I have noticed a trend that families who bond via spiritual guidelines tend to last longer and have more fulfilling lives. Other people who are smarter and better versed than I have written more about this than me... so I'll let them handle it.
     This is what it means to show up. Showing up for me has meant changing my priorities and realizing that my actions no longer effect just me. That my (my = her) money is our money, my time is our time. But you know? it's totally worth it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but with my family.