The Transformer.

     Just the concept of Transformers was mind blowing to me. My five year old brain just could fully wrap itself around the concept of a toy that was multiple things in one. Until I finally got one. I had the Transformer that became a microscope, one played tapes, I even had Optimus Prime and the ENTIRE trailer that went along with it. Feel free to buy it for me if you want. The link probably won't last forever, but right now it's going for the scant price of 5,000. That's right Mom! You sold five grand worth of toy for around, oh 25 cents. I hope you're happy.
     Truth of the matter is, it wouldn't have mattered much. Mine wouldn't have been in the package anymore, the left over stickers would be hanging on for dear life, there might be a He-Man sword lodged permanently in one of Optimus' legs. I played the stuffing out of my toys. Loved 'em. Between you and me, I still took baths with toys when I was in junior high. But don't tell anyone.
     Catie and I jokingly bicker about the kid being a boy or a girl. We don't know yet and my mouth just defaults to saying "him" because I don't enjoy calling it, "it". Just seems a little dehumanizing. But I digress. One of the reasons I want to have a boy is because of the toys. While this culture as a whole has somewhat embraced the nerdery of the world (thank you Seth Green, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs; in that order), there is still a little bit of shamed attached. While I can honestly say I love sports, I can just as honestly say the only reason I got into them was to offset my love of computers. Is that wrong?
     If we have a boy, I'll be able to play with the toys, too! Is that so wrong? Is it so terrible to buy two of everything, one for show and one for play? If my mother bought two Optimus Prime's, keeping one in the box, I'd have roughly five grand to start my kids college fund. Plus, there would no longer be any shame in watching UP three times in the theaters. I could be like, "Oh, it's for the kid..." Yet there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There really is. Turns out, I'm going to have another crack at this whole Transformers thing. And I'm not just talking about toys here, no sir. I'm talking about the real thing.
    Turns out, if you have a baby, your BMW 528i can turn into a minivan. Unlike Transformers, it only happens one way, though. But still, Transformer...