The Signing.

     I knew I would get cold feet before I got married. Everyone told me it would happen, so when it did, I was prepared. I still got freaked out, though. I was only 25 and, if I do it correctly, I was only done with a quarter of my life. You mean to tell me I was prepared to decide how, barring the proverbial beer truck, I could spend another 75 years with this women I had only known for three years! That's a huge decision. As a matter of fact, if I hadn't had some cold feet, I would've been more worried. Because it's an important and (hopefully) a lifelong choice, there should be a point where I get nervous, otherwise I wouldn't be taking it seriously.
     I kinda feel the same way about fatherhood. Catie and I weren't planning on getting pregnant. Not even a little bit. When I found out, and after I changed my pants, I was really excited. But some time between the excitement of just having found out, baby showers, maternity clothes, larger breasts, looking at new houses, thinking about which car is going to get the baby seat, picking a name, and figuring out what color we're going to paint the nursery that doesn't exist yet, it occurs to me: am I really ready for this? Truth be told, I'm probably not. I'm having the fraternal version of cold feet. I know that not having a baby isn't an option, and it's not that I want to get out of it, it's just that I wasn't planning on it. Everyone tells me if I wait until I'm ready to have a baby, I'll never have one. Well, no worries there!
     That's where signing up is important. Signing Up means being committed, it means Showing Up even when you don't want to, are afraid to, or think you're unable to. If it just gets me past the cold feet, that's pretty much what commitment is all about. I'm not just going show up, I'm going to stick around and be committed; not only to my wife, but to my new family. I'm just hoping they can help me be a little courageous.